Day 8 of a Christ-Centered Christmas

“But where does that leave you Santa?” I asked. The tears gone now from his eyes, a smile broke over Santa’s face. “Why, bless you, my dear,” he laughed. “ I, too am only a symbol. I represent the spirit of family fun and the joy of giving and receiving. If the children are taught these other things, there is no danger that I’ll ever be forgotten.”

“I think I’m beginning to understand at last, “ I replied.

“That’s why I came” said Santa, “You’re an adult. If you don’t teach the children these things, then who will?”

Day 7 of a Christ-Centered Christmas

Santa brought out a beautiful wreath made of fresh fragrant greenery and tied with a bright red bow. “The bow reminds us that the bond of perfection which is love. The wreath embodies all the good things about Christmas for those with eyes to see and hearts to understand. It contains the colors red and green and the heaven turned needles of the evergreen. The bow tells the story of good will towards all and its color reminds us of Christ’s sacrifice. Even the wreath’s very shape is symbolic, representing eternity and the eternal nature of Christ’s love. It is a circle without beginning and without end. These are the things you must teach the children.”

I love the idea that wreaths represent all the things we love united for eternity. It gives me the idea to make a photo wreath for next year, with pictures of my loved ones.

Day 6 of a Christ-Centered Christmas

Again, Santa reached into his bag and this time he brought forth a tiny red and white striped candy cane. As he hung it on the tree, He spoke softly, “The candy cane is a stick of hard red and white candy. White to symbolize the virgin birth and sinless nature of Jesus. The shape J to represent the precious name of Jesus who came to earth as our Savior. It also represents the crook of the Good Shepherd, which he uses to reach down into the ditches of the world to lift out the fallen lambs that, like sheep, have gone astray. The original candy cane had three small red stripes which are the stripes of the scourging Jesus received by which we are healed and a large red stripe that represents the shedding of blood of Jesus so that we can have eternal life. Teach these things to the children.”

A box of candy canes was next for us, which we quickly hid from Little Man. Thank goodness they are tough to open, or we would have had sticky candy everywhere! Better in small doses, right?

Day 5 of a Christ-Centered Christmas

Santa placed a candle on the mantle and lit it. The soft glow from its one tiny flame brightened the room. “The glow of the candle represents how man can show his thanks for the gift of God’s Son that Christmas Eve long ago. Teach the children to follow in Christ’s footsteps. . . to go about doing good. Teach them to let their lights shine before men that all may see it and glorify God. This is what is symbolized when the twinkling lights shine on the tree like hundreds of bright, shining candles, each of them representing one of God’s precious children, their light shining for all to see.

The gift, of course, was a candle. I love candles!

Day 4 of a Christ-Centered Christmas

Santa found a bell in his pack and placed it on the tree. “Just as lost sheep are guided to safety by the sound of the bell, it continues to ring today for all to be guided to the fold. Teach the children to follow the true Shepherd who gave his life for the sheep.”

Day 3 of a Christ-Centered Christmas

Santa reached into his bag and pulled out a tiny Christmas tree and set it on the fireplace mantle. “Teach them about the Christmas tree. Green is the second color of Christmas. The stately evergreen with its unchanging color represents the hope of eternal life in Jesus. Its needles point heaven ward as a reminder that man’s thoughts should turn heaven ward as well.”

Grant then finally got to eat one of the green tree-shaped crispy treats. He also hung a felt tree ornament on the tree.

Day 2 of a Christ-Centered Christmas

“Red,” said Santa “is the first color of Christmas.” He pulled forth a red ornament for the tiny tree. “Red is deep, intense, vivid. It is the color of the life giving blood that flows through our veins. It is the symbol of God’s greatest gift. Teach the children that Christ gave His life and shed his blood for them that they might have eternal life. When they see the color red it should remind them of that most wonderful gift.”

The gift contained a red glass ornament with the nativity painted on it. Grant loved this, he loves ornaments!

Weird

I just saw my job posted on yjobs.byu.edu. That is such a strange feeling! 4 years ago I saw that same description and thought it was a perfect fit. Now someone else is going through the same experience and will begin the adventure I began then. So ethereal!

Christ-Centered Christmas

A secret Santa must have known that I wanted to make our Christmas more Christ-Centered, because a box of wrapped gifts appeared at our door this morning, each one with an envelope counting down to Christmas. The box said:

"Merry Christmas! I have left you with 8 gifts, one to be opened on everyday leading up to the day we celebrate the birth of our Savior. May we all remember the true meaning of Christmas this year and feel of the love of our Heavenly Father and His son, Jesus Christ."

So, today Grant gleefully opened gift #1. The letter told this story:

"Late one Christmas Eve, I sank back, tired but content, into my easy chair. The kids were in bed, the gifts were wrapped, the milk and cookies waited by the fireplace for Santa. As I sat back admiring the tree with its decorations, I couldn't help feeling that something important was missing. It wasn't long before the tiny twinkling tree lights lulled me to sleep.

I don't know how long I slept, but all of a sudden I knew that I wasn't alone. I opened my eyes, and you can imagine my surprise when I saw Santa himself standing next to my tree. He was dressed all in fur from his head to his feet just as the poem described him, but he was not the "jolly old elf" of Christmas legend. The man who stood before me looked sad and disappointed, and there were tears in his eyes.

'Santa, what's wrong?' I asked. 'Why are you crying?'

'It's the children,' Santa replied.

'But Santa, the children love you,' I said.

'Oh, I know they love me, and they love the gifts I bring them. But the children of today seem to have somehow missed out on the true spirit of Christmas. It's not their fault. It's just that the adults, many of them not having been taught themselves, have forgotten to teach the children.'

'Teach them what?' I asked.

Santa's kind old face became soft, more gentle. His eyes began to shine with something more than tears. He spoke softly. 'Teach the children the true meaning of Christmas. Teach them that the part of Christmas we can see, hear, and touch is much more than meets the eye. Teach them the symbolism behind the customs and traditions of Christmas which we now observe. Teach them what it is they truly represent.'

Santa reached into his bag and pulled out a shiny star and placed it at the top of the small tree. 'The star was the heavenly sign of promise. God promised a Savior for the world and the star was the sign of the fulfillment of that promise on the night that Jesus Christ was born. Teach the children that God always keeps His promises, and that wise men still seek him.'"



Contained within the wrapping was a little golden star that Grant carefully placed on the tree. And so begins our countdown to Christmas. Thank you, secret Santa! I've been so ill today, I was very grateful that someone loves us enough to help us celebrate the spirit of Christ when I was too weary to do so myself. Heavenly Father really does keep his promises.

Changes: Past, Present, and Pending

“The key to change... is to let go of fear.”

“There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction”-Winston Churchill

“Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.”-Arnold Bennett

“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”


Yep, life happens. Just when you get comfortable, the gears turn a little differently and everything gets altered, but it all adds up to blessings in the end. Here's my 2010 equation:

Start with A happy life with Jonathan, Grant, Coco (the cat), and a great job doing Student Honor and Activities with BYUSA
+ "Integrity for Life: Developing Personal Character;" I was invited to teach this class last January, and it has been amazing!
+ chocolate lab, Hannah, joined us in February as Jonathan's Valentine's Day gift
+ trials overcome that strengthened us
+ Master's degree in June (Hallelujah! It only took 8 years!)
+ found out we're pregnant in July with Carson (He's not here yet, but the pregnancy itself has been daily change)
- Student Honor, as of November
+ New calling teaching Relief Society
- Campus Activities! Happening most likely in February, but the process for hiring my replacement begins now
+ "Student Leadership Seminar" which I'm taking over now for Winter Semester 2011
+ BYUSA Communications; Christy, the current coordinator, is leaving and I am replacing her
+ Campus Life Design; again, from Christy
- a little bit of sanity as I transition everything
= A happier life with a larger family (Jonathan, Grant, Carson, Coco, Hannah) and a great job doing Comms, Design, and teaching that will allow me to spend more time with that large family!

It is a lot to adjust to, all at once. I've been doing Activities for almost 4 years now, and I've loved it. I love the thrill and euphoria of seeing a successful event. I love the energy and passion students bring to the area. I love the creativity I've seen. But, it has been really hard, too. It is a physically demanding job, and with my fibromyalgia there were many many weekends that I'd be unable to walk after working an event. It is also demanding on my time, and almost every week my family sacrificed time with me and I with them. Still, I wouldn't trade this experience. I treasure it all, even what I've learned from dealing with SO MUCH RED TAPE and POLICIES. I am glad that piece will be diminished, now, too! I just don't want to tell my current students. I love them SO MUCH!!! Bekah, the VP, I've worked with for 3 years now and seen her grow so much. She is fabulous, and a good friend. I'm so sad I won't be her Coordinator through the end of her BYUSA time. My EDs are also great. This team has gelled so well together, and are so united, it is like being part of a super cool club! I've learned a lot from Jenny, about myself, because she reflects me in so many ways. Sam's constant smile and reliability. Nate's quirky style of everything and astute observations. Ryan's way of embracing everything and everyone, even criticism, with passion and gratitude. I'll also miss Justine, my Australian Assistant whose spunk and playfulness played off of Ryan's gregariousness have often resulted in bouts of laughter at area meetings. I love them so much, and it will be a sad transition, but one that I am very very grateful for.

And yet, while saying goodbye, I'll be getting to know 3 graphic designers, 3 teaching assistants, and a team of 5 students working in Comms. I look forward to serving them and I hope I can do so in a way that honors Christy's efforts and the great strides she has made with them during her time here. I will also miss her friendship, but am so pleased that she gets to be a stay-at-home mom. There is no greater reason I can think of to leave a work that one loves than to serve family. Good luck to her, and good luck to me as I move forward!

To change, I say, bring it on!

Being a Working Mom

A co-worker just announced this week that she'll be leaving to pursue mommy-hood more fully. It is bittersweet, because I've enjoyed working with her, but I am so thrilled that her family is in a place where she can do that. Slightly jealous, too!

In addition, I had a student come to me this week and ask to pick my brain. She is going to be the breadwinner for her new family for the foreseeable future, because she's graduating and her husband is just starting school. She wanted to know how to be a strong woman in all areas of her life, balancing work and family and still filling the roles of a woman. I was surprised that she asked me, because I feel like it is still something I am trying to figure out! I was grateful that she thought I was a good example of a strong woman.

Here's what I told her, though. I will always be the wife and mother, because those are my divine roles. No matter what our life circumstances require, no one can ever be those things in the way I can for my family. Mr. Mom is a foul term in my mind, because Jonathan is all daddy. I am grateful that even though I work, I am still the one Grant wants to comfort him when he's not well, and I am still the one divinely inspired as nurturer. Having a job doesn't change that opportunity, or that responsibility.

Second, I won't ever work somewhere that doesn't support me putting family first. If family isn't a part of the culture, no amount of money is worth it. I've had job offers where I could make much more, but that would require even more sacrifices of family time. There are far greater rewards than money, and being a working mom requires constantly keeping that focus in my heart and mind. Everything I do, even at work, is done for my family. I serve well so that I may teach my sons how to serve well. I honor my commitments at work so they may see my integrity in action. I try to assume that every choice I make at work is being seen by them, and is being done for them. I "bring home the bacon" to provide necessities, and support Jonathan in his efforts, too.

In addition, I've been learning to let some things go. I wish I had the energy and time to have friends, a clean house, hobbies, etc. I just don't. My house is usually much messier than I want it, and I often choose not to participate in social gatherings because it is time that could be spent with family. I am grateful for so much friendship from co-workers and students, because I don't feel as keen an absence from lack of girl time. It is hard, too, because even though there are a lot of women I really admire and would cherish more time with, they don't understand or relate to what it is like for me. My ward is amazing, but most of the Relief Society activities are during the day, or on evenings when I have to work. I don't get to enjoy the playgroups, toddler music time, neighborhood strolls, etc. that I so often see the others doing. So, I just try to do what I can to know them (thanks, facebook!) and find other ways to give Grant opportunities to interact.

Thing is, it is just as hard on Jonathan. He, too, lacks those social opportunities, which is why I am so willing to let him play sports. He, too, doesn't have men that I understand our situation. I've learned to be extra grateful for his many contributions, and for how equally we've been able to share the burdens of home and providing. I haven't been grocery shopping in almost a year, because he does it. We've relied very heavily on communication and patience with one another, because we're all we've got. There isn't a social circle for us, so if we don't understand each other, no one else will. It is humbling, and something that has made us stronger together. He is my superhero in so many ways.

Overall, I am grateful for experiences that have prepared me for this. In college, I was actually very career-minded. Then I attended the session at the Conference Center when we first heard the Proclamation. I believed it to be divine, but it was hard for me to hear. I prayed a long time about it, and through that experience came to such an incredible understanding about the role of women and the respect the Lord has for women. I even ended up changing my major as a result. I think Heavenly Father knew what was coming, and that I needed to have that testimony of women before getting into a career. It is SO EASY in the world of work to do your best, because you can be recognized for your hard work. Achievement is rewarded. At home, no one cheered when I changed the diaper that made me throw up thrice during my first trimester of pregnancy. No one promotes me for being consistent with prayers for Grant each evening. So, I needed to know the value of those things for myself.

In addition, my patriarchal blessing told me that I would have many opportunities in the world of work, and that I would be a leader and teacher. Again, I trust in the Lord, and I know that although this path is not the one I would have chosen, it is the one He knew would be right for our family. In that faith, I press onward. Somehow, I'll be the best Mom for Grant and Carson. Somehow, I'll be successful at work. Somehow, I'll have the friendships I need.

That's how I feel about being a working mom.