Grant's 1st Year

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BYU vs Oklahoma 14-13 YES!!!!!!

O Remember, Remember

Have I seen the hand of God in my life today?
He gave me the courage today to have a conversation I had been avoiding. He gave me joy through my son's first attempts at offering kisses, those wet, open-mouthed touches that fill my heart. He prompted me to go to my bookshelf and read a book I had never opened, which brought answers I didn't know I'd been seeking. Yes, I have seen the hand of God in my life today. Have you?

Um, Where did May go?

Wow, I just realized I haven't blogged in over a month! I have no idea where the month went. Oh, wait, I know...remodeling!!! We started remodeling just before my birthday in April and everything is still a horrible mess. Isn't it amazing that when our physical space is chaotic everything seems chaotic? It's true! Luckily, Grant still isn't crawling so the tools, screws, mortar and other dangerous obstacles only injure Jonathan and I, not the baby. (I say this because I just stubbed my pinky toe on the drill case, and it still throbs!) I keep praying for a miraculous completion to be just around the corner, but instead another thing crops up. Most recently, we've discovered that the shut-off valve under the kitchen sink needs to be replaced! Oh, the joys of homeownership. And yes, I do still thank HF every night that I have a home to keep my family safe.

On other notes, my mother is recovering and I am comforted that she made it safely through back surgery. I hope that once she gets over the pain of surgery, she'll discover genuine relief from the pain in her back.

Work is going at a break-neck speed, believe it or not! Everyone seems to think summer would be easy for me, but it is filled with conferences, retreats, and training. (I'm in charge of the summer training, and I love it!) No complaints--I adore every part of it, but there is always so much more than I wish I could do. I love BYU, I love my students, and my co-workers ROCK!

I have also been applying for ANOTHER graduate program, but I think this one will stick. It is at Capella University, where I can get a degree online by April. Yahoo! They've accepted a lot of my credits from SMU, so I would only have to complete 7 classes to earn my Masters of Education degree. I was hoping to not have to pay anything more for college, but BYU really offers no options for me. It is a great University, but not focused on graduate education, unfortunately for me. Still, Jonathan and I feel that it is worth it to not have to wait another 3-4 years to get me the degree. So, here we go again!

Grant is doing wonderfully. He babbles a lot now, as if he was actually speaking to us. I'm sure he thinks he is! His hair has grown in a lot, and it is thicker than I expected. I can't tell you the color--sometimes it looks blonde, sometimes brown, sometimes even a little red, so I'm waiting to see, but his eyes are still quite blue. He is a mama's boy--he definitely wants to be with Mom whenever I'm around, and puts up a fuss to be held. I love it that he knows me!

Anywho, just thought I better put out a quick update before people start wondering where I've gone!

Coming to Terms with Fibromyalgia

Yes, world, I have fibromyalgia. I've been diagnosed for a long time, but I keep hoping a new doctor will come up with a different explanation because fibro is incurable. Instead, I keep getting worse and my medical bills having gotten bigger. Today, though, I had lunch with someone else who has fibro and I realized from listening to her plight how devasting it can be emotionally and socially if you don't have people around you who both believe you, and believe in you.

So, I've decided that instead of pretending that it isn't real or trying to make it through each day with only Jonathan knowing how difficult things have gotten for me, I'm going to jump on the awareness bandwagon. Hiding from it is letting fibro defeat me, and I am going to win this war. I am not telling you about this to gain your pity, but instead to own up to it myself and try to accept this as part of who I am now, instead of constantly trying to return to who I used to be.

Definition:
Fibro=Fibrous tissues, ligaments, and tendons
My=Muscles
Algia=Pain

Here's a couple of videos to help understand the syndrome:

My Grant Time

I am a working mom. I always thought this would define me in a different way than it has, probably because Jonathan's efforts have allowed me to maximize my Grant time.

First, Grant wakes me up around 6am, sometimes with giggles and kicks (when he was lucky enough to share our bed for part of the night) and other times with some loud sighs that clearly communicate his anxiety over having to wait for my attention. I quickly assume the position (I love breastfeeding when I am not in a hurry!) and then play with him. He is so fun in the mornings! His eyes are bright and blue, my antics are somehow more entertaining, his laugh is fuller, his curious energy more engaging. I am no longer a bleary-eyed morning mess (most of the time) because I can't help but engage myself in following his interest as it bounces around the room. "Oh, look! A ceiling fan with wobbly lights! Wow--do you see that interesting swatch of fabric on the bedspread? No way! I've never seen that worn out section of the headboard before!" He is sitting up by himself now, so the world has opened up to him in entirely new ways and there simply aren't enough seconds in the day to cover the territory.

I take a break to shower while he plays with Daddy, and then Grant helps me pick out my outfit for the day. (That way I have someone else to blame for any fashion faux pas). We then share a Daddy-made breakfast together, Grant sitting on my lap determinedly attempting to examine the contents of each forkful while I correspondingly get an arm workout juggling him, a plate, and a fork. It is an ingenious way to burn calories even as they are consumed!

After saying our family prayer and sharing kisses all around (his are becoming much wetter these days) I leave for work, knowing Grant will be taking his morning nap in only a half hour or so.

By 10:30, Jonathan and I have chatted on the phone and I've had 20 people in the office ask about Grant's well-being. I don't mind all the chances to share my love for this amazing little person! Around noon, Jonathan and Grant come to visit me at work. Sometimes we go to the Temple, sometimes we go to the park, sometimes we go out to eat, but every time we get to spend a dedicated hour together as a family. I get to nurse Grant again and share in some more of his giggles, and then I'm back to work.

Around 2:30 or so, Jonathan and I chat again making dinner plans. The next several hours go by so quickly with my students that before I know it, I am once again pulling into my parking spot at home. Grant and Jonathan will often meet me at the door. There is no better vision than seeing them happy to see me! We greet warmly, and Grant and I sit down to chat while Jonathan serves dinner. I get about an hour of playtime with Grant before he starts to tell me he's ready for bed. He gives me a bath (I always thought it should be the other way around) and then we go upstairs for some fresh PJs. Daddy comes and reads the Book of Mormon with us (the Baby Board book version) and we say prayer, and then Grant curls into my arms. He knows what's next--a warm meal, soft lullabys, rocking back and forth into sweet slumber. I hold him in my arms for many moments after sleep has taken him, enjoying his fresh baby scent and the way his little hands have stayed firmly woven into my blouse, holding me close. Eventually I concede to time, and place him in his crib. His eyes will open for just a moment and his hand will rest on mine as he confirms that he's safe, and then his head rocks to the side in silence.

I am 'blessed' with two more such sessions around 2am and 4am, until we start all over again. I am not sure why I've been blessed with such a wonderful child, but I treasure my time with him!

UNBELIEVABLE!

As you know, I've been anxiously awaiting an answer to my application for the Educational Leadership program. I didn't get in!! Here's the actual news--it's because the program is being cancelled! I put forth all that effort, time, even money for a program that just is gone. I had put my hopes for our future in this program, and the timing was important for us. I am not sure what I'm going to do now or what my options even are, but I was incredibly disappointed and frustrated today.

The silver lining? I called Jonathan several times to tell him but to no avail, and then he attempted to call me back with the same lack of success. He therefore called Nate to ascertain the problem, and was informed. Without us even getting a chance to chat, he sent me a bouquet of flowers. It arrived while I was surrounded by several students in my office, making a rather positive impression. I was so grateful to him!

I still have no idea what I'm going to do, but at least I know I have a husband who loves me and employers who support me.

Monsters vs Aliens

Synopsis: An alien threatens to destroy earthlings in search of a powerful element, and our only hope for survival is 4 Monsters.

Pros:
Wow, What fun! We loved it! I was laughing the whole time. Jonathan and I spent much of the ride home quoting lines from the movie. Bob was the winning touch--the gelatinous blob with gender issues. Animated action sequences aren't that bad, either! Excellent stress-relief.

Cons: Not much depth, so it is just for a good time. I think the movie would lose some appeal if not enjoyed in 3D.

Survey says: 3/5 stars

Surprises

I love surprises. Right? Well, I love surprises like a super-duper clean house or fresh baked bread when I come home from work, or flowers mysteriously appearing in my office, or sunny weather when I expected rain. I LOVE those kinds of surprises. I even love a surprise encounter with an old friend or perhaps a stolen moment with Jonathan. But I hate surprises like whether or not I get into the graduate program! I am dying to find out. Chance Basinger found out several weeks ago about his program, so I have since then been checking every single day, sometimes multiple times in the day, to see if I'm in. True, they have until April 15th to tell me. And based on my grades and scores I feel pretty confidant that I'm a strong candidate, but you just never know. I can't take anything for granted. I wish they would just tell me so I can go on with making my plans! After all, I have already scheduled things for work into the year 2010. Not having my plans in place for this summer just seems out of whack for me! So, here's to hoping that the School of Education has a place for little ol' me in their program.

4-Months in Review

"Guh! Guh! Buh!" This became a common sound of the month as Grant began using consonant sounds instead of primarily vowels. It was fun to hear him experimenting with the sounds, but his favorite by far was the gutteral G sound. Appropriate since his name is Grant Gray!
Grant has also developed strong muscles! He can sit up almost unsupported, but while being held he can wiggle and squirm and is getting a little harder to hang on to! Bonus, though, is that I can now toss him in the air to get a gaggle of giggles!

Both Jonathan and I have had moments when we questioned whether Grant liked us anymore, because his attention was so hard to get--he was looking everywhere else but at us! This means he can play solo, though, so we get a little break here and there. He's grabbing at everything, so we suddenly are much more aware of everything within arms reach of him. His sweet little hands are so dirty every night for his bath! Grant is fascinated with food, too. He is so attentive when we're eating, insists on being by our side at the table, and more than once he's attempted to earn himself a forkful of fettuccini. Any day now I just know he's going to get a plateful of corn dumped on his head! (Hasn't happened yet, thank goodness!)

Grant's First BOM!

Grant has finished his first Book of Mormon! We bought this collection of Book of Mormon stories to introduce Grant to the people of ancient America and the experiences of the prophets. It is a very simplified version, but he liked the pictures and was generally attentive as we read the stories. It was fun for us to start sharing this with him, even though he's not really understanding it yet. I like that it's a board book, too, so his wet affection won't ruin the pages!

Mirror, Mirror, in the Crib

Monkeying Around
Grant is our little monkey! He loves it when Mom and Dad make monkey noises (Dad sounds, looks, and feels more like a gorilla, of course.) He giggles and sometimes he even joins us! He has actually tried to mimic us, forming an "O" with his little mouth and making ooh sounds.


Sing, Sing A Song
It's funny that Grant has already indicated some musical preferences! I have a series of songs I like to sing to him, mostly because they are the ones that always come to mind. Still, some of the songs he will scowl to (even some of my childhood favorites, like "Angel Lullaby,") and others he actually tries to sing along with! His favorites are "Teach Me to Walk in the Light," and "Silent Night." I know, I know, the last one is a Christmas song but he loves it. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to have a son who loves to sing!

New Presidency

They've been chosen! The months of February and March are so full of suspense and anticipation for me, as we await the election and following appointments of the BYUSA Presidency. After all, over 2100 hours of my time during the next year will be dedicated to serving, teaching, supporting, learning from, and befriending these very students. I finally know who I get to work with! The Presidency consists of Elise, Landon, Lee (my VP), Cami, Jessica, Karen, Kelin, Chad, and Becca. I had the chance to spend a weekend with them during our New Presidency Retreat. It is one of my favorite activities of the year, because they all come in with such optimism, energy, humility, and vision. I can't help but be inspired by them and their willingness to serve as volunteers for such a huge committment. I am seriously a better person because I get to work with these guys.

In particular, I'll be working with Lee Adams. Lee has been an Executive Director on my team this year, so I've gotten to know him already and I am confidant he'll do a great job. He's got big shoes to fill, as Nicki has been a phenomenal leader this year. But he's learned from her, and as he mixes in his own ideas and takes advantage of the fresh perspectives of his new EDs, I think he'll measure up to the task. I can't wait to see it all happen.

So, I am no longer keeping myself awake at night wondering about the elections and choices being made. I can rest easy knowing that next year will be another great year for BYUSA. I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!

So funny!

This was just so funny, I had to share!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Jonathan turned into a leprechaun today! OK, well, perhaps he didn't shrink or find a pot of gold, but he did decide to cook up Irish feasts all day long! What a guy! For breakfast we had Irish Rosemary & Ham Scones, which were honeyed biscuits with deli ham.  For dinner he made glazed corned beef (Yum!) and boiled potatoes and carrots, with Irish Soda Farls and dessert was Irish Cream Chocolate Cheesecake!  The little bit of Irish in me had a hayday!  Thanks to Jonathan for making it a special day!  

Movie Review: Race to Witch Mountain

Jonathan and I went to see Race to Witch Mountain for our date night.  I really liked it, but then again I don't mind occasionally canned and predictable acting from good looking actors! :-)  Seriously, though, the movie gets started right away and stays moving at a quick pace.  There's lots of action and special effects, which I love, but would probably be intense for some kids.  (It's only rated PG, but you know how the rating system is!) I have to admit, though, the girl in me still thinks the original version was better because it captured my imagination better and felt like a stronger plot.  This one is a good ride, but not really engaging like the original one.  All in all, a fun action movie that doesn't require me to bring earplugs and blind folds ranks high in my book! I give it 4 stars.

Long Lost Wedding Video

Jonathan and I were viewing videos from Grant and lo and behold, discovered wedding videos that we didn't even know we had!  I don't have any idea how they even made it on to this computer, since we bought it over a year after we were married.  So, I thought I simply must share the luau fun! 

 

Campus Activities Retreat

Last Saturday I went on a retreat with my crew of Campus Activities students. (They rock, and it has nothing to do with my obvious bias.) Tommy and Nicki planned the whole thing. We first went to race karts; I should make it clear at this point that Nicki came in third. She would be most upset if I failed to mention that important fact. Ben came in last, which he says is because he is always last at work (his role is evaluate) so technically he "should still be driving." Lee and Ryan came in as the top two (depends on which lap you assess and how you calculate the averages, jury is still out...) It was a hoot! Then we went to Cheesecake Factory where we all ordered an appetizer and had a free for all. I must say, my favorite was the avocado wraps, but it was fun to be able to try a variety. Our next stop was... my house. They dropped me off because Grant was having a tough time, so they went to "All Shook Up" without me at Hale Center Theatre and then Jonathan, Grant and I joined them at Tucanos for dinner. All in all, it was a good time. I know I've still got 4 weeks left with these guys, but I am already starting to miss them! I just can't tell you how much I love working with each of them! Next retreat, however, I will make sure I don't eat so much food--I was full for days!

Our Child of God

"Mystery" Flowers

When Grant was born, sweet Jeannie (a co-worker) brought flowers to the hospital for us in an adorable green vase. I thought it was so cute, I brought the vase to work for my desk. However, it sat there empty for the first month as I simply admired the vase and blue/white bow. One day, I came into work to discover the vase had been filled with a fine arrangement of fresh flowers! Amazing! It sprouts its own flowers! They kept me happy for a while until they expired as all fresh flowers do. Lo and behold, my amazing vase must have gotten in a purple mood when it once again sprouted this mysterious bouquet! Jeannie denies having anything to do with it, but she seems to know a lot more than she's willing to admit... and she did mention that she hated seeing a naked vase... Hmmm...

Anyway, my mysteriously appearing flowers keep me happy and remind me of how grateful I am for good friends and acts of random kindness!

Desire

I've been thinking a lot about desire lately. One of my students was talking about how he wants to do well in school and wants to serve and fulfill his calling and be a good employee, etc., but struggles to actually put things into action. It made me think of a favorite talk by Elder Maxwell called "According to the Desire of Our Hearts." This talk is specifically about desires to follow the Savior or the adversary, but it applies to all aspects of our lives. Here's the quote that really struck me: "It is up to us. Therein lies life's greatest and most persistent challenge." Wow, that's so true! Who we are, who we become, how we spend our time, how we respond to the trials before us, it's all up to us. He tells us that we all having fleeting thoughts, ideas, feelings, etc. but who we are is made up of what we desire most fervently most of the time over a long period. It is a powerful talk, and I simply can't say it better than Elder Maxwell. I just know I have a renewed desire to evaluate my desires!

Loudest Laugh Award

Grant had his 4-month check up this morning, and he's doing great!!!  He's 26.1 inches long and 17.6 pounds, both are in the 90th percentile.  He had to get his shots, but he was a trooper and just got mad at the surprise, but quickly calmed down and was happy again.  Dr. Paxton told Jonathan he'd never seen a baby who laughed like Grant, and said he wins the "Loudest Laugh Award."  No idea who he got that from!  ;-)  

He's a happy, healthy, baby and we're so grateful!!!  

My Baby Blue Eyes

I love being a mom. It is amazing watching Grant grow and learn! He's already changed so much, doubled in size, and he's developing new skills daily. Right now, he's learning how to arch his back so his little bum comes off the floor. He has discovered the divine pleasure of sucking his fist (he prefers the whole thing; thumb-sucking is so prosaic!) He is mastering the use of his hands to manipulate objects, and can now reach out to touch someone--or something. He hums to himself, making long melodious vowel sounds, especially in the car. I think he wants us to remember he's back there! He's almost strong enough to sit up by himself, but still needs support. My favorite new development is his affection for "Blue," the cuddly blue bear he loves to snuggle. I think he likes it because it is so squishy he can actually hold it and handle it, plus he sucks on the hard nose and can snuggle it to sleep. So cute! He's also become super social, and he is anxious to be involved with whatever is going on. My BYUSA kids love that, of course, and he's making lots of friends there. He gets bored easily, so Jonathan and I have discovered talents of our own, too. Jonathan is particularly good at making up silly songs and playing Blanket tag, where he'll throw a soft blankie over Grant and he kicks and wiggles and giggles out of it. Grant even anticipates it now! I've learned that my nose is most useful buried in his belly or neck, blowing raspberries. His laugh is worth getting his little hands tangled into my hair! Finally, Grant has discovered a purely male joy--he laughs when he poops! All boy. Gotta love him!

Lunchtime Happiness

Almost every day for lunch, Jonathan brings Grant to visit me at work so I can nurse him and spend time with them during the day. I am so grateful that he is willing to take the time to do it! This past week, however, he has picked me up and we've gone together as a family to the Provo Temple to enjoy the Temple grounds in the beautiful warmer weather. It is so wonderful to be able to enjoy their company near the Lord's house, and to start telling Grant about the blessing of the Temple. We sing him Primary songs and tell him about our Temple wedding and we talk about going on missions when we see all the missionaries. He doesn't understand our words yet, but I keep hoping the spirit is translating for us! I am so thankful to Jonathan for giving me this lunchtime happiness.

For more pictures, go to http://picasaweb.google.com/Tamara.Lynn.Gray/LunchtimeHappiness?authkey=Gv1sRgCNeGx9eQn_WIqwE&feat=directlink

Giftyness Meme

My friend Nikki did this on her blog and I was lucky enough to be one of the first 4 comments! So now I'm posting it on my blog...The first 4 (four) people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:-

* What I create will be just for you.- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make! (I will make every effort though)

* You will receive your item by the end of the year. (or sooner).  But you don't know when or how...ooh! Suspense!

* You will have no clue what the item is going to be. It could be a story or poetry (unlikely). It could be a piece of handmade jewelry or another handmade craft (slightly more likely). I may draw, paint, collage, or crochet something. I might bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!

* I reserve the right to do something extremely strange (completely possible, but not likely, afterall- I DO want you to like it!)

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to repost this meme and make and send out FOUR surprises of your own. Remember these can be anything, even just a plate of cookies! And you have almost a year to do it! (don't have a blog? you could do this same idea on facebook or somewhere i bet!)

So -- who's in?

Finally, a picture with my baby!

Although I've got lots of pictures of my adorable son and husband, I haven't gotten any with me and Grant. So, when I had the chance to visit Jen Lund on Saturday, she took a few pics for me. (She happens to be a rock star when it comes to photography, and everything else!) So, here's me and my baby! (I'll add the rest when I get them from her, I was just so excited I had to share this one right away! Isn't he cute?!?)

2007 Nissan Sentra for sale!!!

We're downgrading to one vehicle so we can survive on one income, so if you or someone you know is in the market for a new vehicle, check this one out!!!

This beautiful metallic Jade Sentra is in excellent condition! Only 19800 miles, averages 36 mpg highway!! City streets it averages 30 mpg! Looks new, is in excellent mechanical condition and needs no reconditioning. Never had any paint or body work and is free of rust. Clean title history and will pass a smog and safety inspection. Complete and verifiable service records. Only problem is the tire pressure light stays on, but tires are fine.

Features include: Air Conditioning, Tilt Wheel, Dual Front Air Bags, Power Steering, Cruise Control, Front Side Air Bags, Power Windows, AM/FM Stereo, Power Door Locks, Compact Disc

Specifications

Body:Sedan Make:Nissan Model:Sentra Year:2007 Mileage:19800 Number of doors:4 Exterior condition:1 Excellent Exterior color:Green Interior condition:1 Excellent Interior color:Gray Type of engine:4 cyl 2.0L Type of fuel:Gasoline Type of transmission:Automatic Drive Train:Front Wheel Drive

Grant at 3-Months Old

3-Month Old

NEW BLOG!

We've decided to switch our blog to be hosted by Blogger.  It is free (much cheaper than mac!)  and I can edit it from any PC so it is easier to keep it up to date.  So, please be aware that our old blog and photo gallery at http://web.mac.com/goteamgray will not be available after mid-March.  For those of you who use Blogger, does anyone know how to create slideshows or photo galleries? I want to show off my cute son and hubby, but don't know yet how to do so.   

Gone and Done it!

So, 3 weeks ago Jonathan and I decided that, gosh darnit, I was going to actually earn a Master's degree instead of just constantly taking classes and that meant I needed to start the program this Summer. We figured that it is better for me to get it done now while Grant is young (and our only child) than when we have multiple children and activities to attend. So, within the past 3 weeks I have successfully completed all my application materials, and today I took the GRE. I did great! I was so pleased, since I had basically no time to prepare for the exam. Whew! So, hopefully I will be starting the Masters of Education program in Educational Administration this summer. Here we go again!

Grant's 2-Month Old Pictures

2 Months Old